out of my window looking in the night

i haven't had the time, energy or strength to update this blog. it is funny to look at my previous posts and think of all that has happened since. as much as i would like to stick to the usual fun photos and updates, for my own sake, this will be a little more heavy. it has been a very eventful last 8 months.

in september, we found out we are expecting our 3rd baby! we are so excited to welcome a baby boy, literally any day. i am due on may 30th. the eventful part of it all was how sick i was during the first 3-4 months. i was completely out of commission, even with powerful anti-nauseau medication. needless to say, it was a rough few months for our family. we had many generous and supportive new friends and ward members to help, but it was still a rough time, especially since nate was so busy with his new job and jane was adjusting to a new school.

once i finally began to emerge from the truly awful stage, around christmas, my dad's health took a turn for the worse. my amazing father had been battling cancer for almost 3 years and had been living a very full life, against all odds and predictions. up until christmas, he had been feeling well and living life as normal. we were able to be with my parents for christmas and the day after, my dad began loosing balance and his ability to walk. in the next 3 weeks, everything changed. he became paralyzed from the waist down within 2 weeks and suffered a catastrophic stroke a week after that. on january 28th, my dad left this earthly life. it was and still is one of the hardest things i have ever experienced. i am so glad we live in wisconsin and i was able to be in madison with my family for weeks on end, even though it was a strain for jane to miss a lot of school and for our own immediate family to be apart a lot. we miss our dad, husband and bapa so much. it has been a lot for the girls to process, but they seem to have gained a healthy perspective of life and death and we talk almost daily of my dad. you can read more from my mom and my dad's obituary is here: elisberg family blog.

well, if that wasn't all enough, there is still more. while dealing with our loss and grief, we had to find a new place to live. the house we were renting was sold and the new owners (while patient and understanding) wanted to have their new house. where we live, the rental market is pretty lousy. most properties to rent are not livable (especially with kids) or way over priced. so, our options were limited and we decided to try and buy a house. i have wanted to own our own home for a while, but it is a huge decision and a stressful experience. the next few months of searching and negotiating and preparing to move were crazy! but, we found a great house and moved in one month ago. we love our new house and are happy to not have landlords anymore and are looking forward to staying in one place for a while. we have moved 7 times in 7 years of marriage. it will be nice to be settled.

and now, we wait for baby to arrive. in all the craziness of life, i haven't hardly had time to think about this baby. it made the pregnancy seem to go fast (and also seem like i have been pregnant forever). the girls are getting really excited and i think they will both be such good helpers. i hope nate and i have a little bit more energy left in us to handle a newborn (and hopefully this baby is easy, we sure need an easy baby)! 

in other good news, this summer is looking to be fantastic. along with baby arriving, nate is going to be pretty free to do whatever he wants. he can't wait to start painting again in his new studio space he is setting up. and, it will be so nice for us to spend some time together as a family. and, since we live in such a wonderful place, we are planning on having lots of visitors!

thinking about it all, i sometimes just cry. i cry because it is overwhelming to think of all the blessings we truly have. i am so grateful for such an amazing dad i have. his presence is felt daily in my life and especially in the beautiful nature we are lucky enough to live in. i am so grateful i will be blessed to be a mom again. i can't wait to meet our baby and for him to join our family at last. i am so grateful for our beautiful home and the material blessings we have been given. nate is such a hard worker for our family  and we are living a life i could only dream of. and mostly, i am so grateful for my family and that we have each other. life is good.